I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
