you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
