You can't special order awesome
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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