Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
