guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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