I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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