worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
