omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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