sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She's the barista slut.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
