There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
