What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
