Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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