dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
