so that wasnt chicken after all
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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