Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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