Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
