wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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