i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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