You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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