every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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