i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
