I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I intend to get homeless drunk
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
