All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
