Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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