Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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