I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
