His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
