They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And then my night got REAL pukey
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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