I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
