You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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