he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Why are your pants in the freezer?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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