dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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