we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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