i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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