I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
