I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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