STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
