i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
