Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
