i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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