let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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