ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
porn star boner night. come get it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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