I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
