You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
