Dual....:-)
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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