Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
