it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
