Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
