I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
