love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
