I want to walk on stilts...naked
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
