What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
